To My Single Ladies (and Gents)

You open facebook and yet again someone you went to school with- be that college or high school- is getting married, starting a family, adding another to the family, or even buying a house. You start off by feeling jealous, maybe even getting a little hit to your heart or ego, and it’s immediately followed by a ‘stop it, just be happy for them’ inner monologue.

I’m here to tell all of you out there that you’re not alone. And it’s okay.

Trust me, I understand the feelings of trying to be happy for your friends as they start new lives with their significant others and yet feeling alone and sad. I understand talking to your best friend about nursery themes and buying ALL of the cute things for the baby and then sitting at home- alone- binging Netflix and eating all of the cookies. I understand that little voice in your head that makes you think you’ll be alone forever.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve dreamt of that fairytale wedding, that white picket fence, and traveling the world with a partner who adores me. Never would I have imagined that at almost 30 I would still be oh-so-very single. I mean, I had all the plans in the world to already be done having kids (2 of them) by 25. Now? That just sounds absolutely BONKERS to me.

See, the thing with life is that everyone’s is different. Sounds like a duh sort of thing to say, but it’s worth taking the time to really acknowledge. Just because your 25 is different than your best friend’s 25 is okay. Being almost 30 and still single and living at home is OH-KAY.

Seriously, ladies and gents out there, life is Hard with a capital H. Just trying to find your own way through it is rough enough and then we’re all supposed to find someone to share our Netflix accounts with too? It can all be way too much.


*Images from Pinterest

And what is this whole fuss about being married by your 30th? Why does everyone and their brother seem to be getting married or having kids before their even 25?? I struggle to determine when this became the norm. But just because it is the norm doesn’t make it the only way.

And I know, that dreaded question at holiday dinners or family get-togethers can make the strongest of us stumble. But just because Aunt Sally got married at 22 doesn’t mean you have to too. Remember that whole life-is-different-for-everyone thing?

And can we talk about “kids” getting married? Maybe this the almost 30 in me talking, but holy-hannah I can’t even imagine getting married at 20 or 22. At 25 I was just beginning to figure out who the hell I really was, what I wanted from my life, and where I wanted to spend it. I can’t even imagine trying to figure that all out with someone sharing your space- who, might I add, would also be trying to figure out who they were as a person. Maybe it’s an only-child thing, but I need my space to figure all that out.


Now here is where I would like to remind you of all of the little things YOU get to enjoy all because you don’t share your Netflix with anyone:

*Decorate that house/apt however you want.

*Lay on the couch ALL. DAY. when you have a day off and no one can say squat.

*That one show in Netflix or Hulu that you love but no one else seems to? Binge it to your heart’s content.

*Take up the whole damn bed. Well, except for that corner by your feet where the cat insists on curling up.

*Light a candle, play some calming music and spoil yourself with a facial whenever you want.

*Have a weekend off? Jump in your car and go on an adventure. You find stuff out about yourself you may never have known when you explore alone.

*Eat. All. Of. The. Food. If for no other reason than if you don’t…well, no one will and there goes your food budget.

*If your lifestyle and work schedule allows it, adopt a pet! I would be lost without my furbaby. But hey, even a fish to talk to counts!

Come on ladies and gents, life doesn’t begin when someone puts a ring on your finger or when two people sign a piece of paper. Life is happening all around you. As cliche as it sounds, grab the bull by its horns and take control of that life of yours. You can change anything you don’t like about your life. Not happy with where your career has taken you? Try something new. Will it be easy? Highly unlikely. But will it be worth it in the end? Certainly. And know you’re not alone in that endeavor either.



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